I’m being mentally tested. This is so difficult. I feel like I can fall apart any second, but I’m holding myself together somehow.
I’m so exhausted. I still haven’t recovered at much at all from last year. I’m trying so hard to fight off that weariness that just brings you down. The type that just claws at you until your numb and mentally handicaps you. Thinking becomes a prison, and you feel like there is no solution or escape.
I don’t want that.
The funny thing is what your asking me. Deal with the attitude. But when I was at my worst, I wished you understood why I was like that and dealt with me. Ironic.
Now I’m here, just pushing everything aside so you can feel comfortable again, while I haven’t had the chance the breathe. Or really heal. Memories are still pretty fresh, and so is the pain.
But, I’m coming into this year equipped with a goals, life lessons, and realizations. I’ll keep trying and keep fighting.
Hopefully, I’ll get a sense of fulfillment at the end. A sense of calmness. Maybe some answers.
